The final Patanjali reviews are here. I have not scored the products on any scale. Just how I felt after using them and whether I would continue to use them in the future.

Aloe Vera and Amla juice. Yes and yes. Do I feel more energetic and active? I don't think so. But since Aloe has been touted as having many incredible properties, both medicinal and non, I will chug away. Amla is packed with natural Vitamin C. Again, no prizes for guessing how wonderful Vit C is. How do I drink the concoction? I take two capful of each and mix in a little water. I use a glass or a mug. The water should ideally be lukewarm but I am so craving for tea that I just down it without tasting it. Works best that way.

The soaps. The green soap is Kanti, the one with the not-so-secret bovine ingredient. Incredibly clean feeling. Cheap @13 bucks. The husband has taken to stealing mine after experimenting with the Fiama range. His Hindi is awful and he has no clue what goes in the soap. The day I want him to lay off, I will let him know :D

Patanjali body lotion. Surprisingly rich with a nice non-nauseating perfume. Some smells trigger a migraine but this is not offensive, nor cloying. Heavy and rich, it's meant for winters. Since I have dry skin throughout the year, it works for me.

Lastly Patanjali Almond oil. Superb. Light, works well around the eyes. Has it reduced fine lines and crow's feet? Too early to say. Haven't been very regular actually. Does give you a nice glow when you wake up. Those with acne-prone skin need to use a little to see if they break out.

Next, weight loss and how to make those ugly pounds go away. For life. I don't know how. But looking for answers. A 13 year journey. Long time, no results.

If anyone's interested, I will tell you all about the Patanjali soaps that I have tried. There's a Multani mitti one (Fuller's earth, for those unfamiliar with Hindi), one containing turmeric and one which has many things, including, HOLD YOUR BREATH HERE: gomutra. For the uninitiated, maybe I should let you remain blissfully unaware. But what the hell. What's some cow pee between friends. Yep, that's what it is. Gomutra is cow urine. Before you go screaming your head off, it's been considered the next best thing after cow dung (if you don't know this one, shame). Ayurveda has been using it apparently for centuries. Not straight from the cow, I guess, but after some filtration or some other process :D

The Fuller's Earth soap is rough to the point of giving you a rather cheap dermabrasion: it burns and makes you kinda dry and scaly; the turmeric leaves you unimpressed but the cow pee scores on every point and is a clear winner all the way. It's a soap that makes you truly clean and is worth the moolah with the emphasis on the moo. What role does Gomutra play? I have no frigging clue. I am not about to find out, either.

Next: Patanjali body lotion and my  journey into weight loss which started 13 years ago and has been derailed since.

The Aloe Vera makes me feel nothing special. The Amla juice stings my teeth. I feel as if my gums are a lot pinker, tighter and healthier. Someone claimed I was glowing. It could be that I had just finished a rather interesting conversation online. That's the thing. Living in Hyderabad ensures I never have interesting conversations outside of my computer. Inside of my computer, it's a different story. Have I not met anyone worth having a good conversation with in Hyderabad?

Will I continue to patronize Ramdev in spite of his political affiliations? Yes. My husband calls me a traitor who is helping fund the Saffron Brigade. He should be happy he still has his arm attached to his bony elbow.

Next blog, I'll talk about the soaps. When using Patanjali soaps, don't read the ingredient list. Not for the weak, it ain't.